If you’re looking for better ways to have sex, then the sex you’re having is probably pretty unsatisfying. In this article we’ll share some tips with you for having better sex. But first, let’s look for a moment at the idea of ‘better’ when it comes to sex. We’re trained by our culture to believe that there is always a “better” way to do something—and maybe even a best way.
Every day we walk by magazines that offer up new sex moves for the bets sex of our lives; but in reality, there’s no one hot move that’s going to revolutionize your sex life and keep it fresh forever. What can revolutionize your sex life forever is your attitude and your approach to sex. So with that said, here are 5 better ways to have sex—not just specific sex moves, but suggestions for really changing your sex life for the better.
1. Be open with yourself.
The first step to having better sex is to know what you want—or at least get committed to figuring it out. Some people have a very strong understanding of their own sexual desires, even before they spend a lot of time actually doing sexual activities. Other people can feel lost for years trying to discover their sexual identities. That shouldn’t be surprising when you think about how many expectations are placed on us by our cultures, our friends, our families, and our partners. But if you aren’t able to figure out what you want or what you want to try, then you’re going to have a hard time having amazing, mindblowing sex. Having great sex starts with being honest with yourself.
2. Be open with your partner.
Talking about sex is an uncomfortable idea for a lot of people, but it can make a huge difference in the sex you’re having. If you don’t regularly talk to your partner about sexuality, then it’s time to start sharing your desires with your partner. She can’t satisfy you if she doesn’t know what you want, and you can’t satisfy her if you don’t know what she wants either. Once you start opening up about what you want, she will probably do the same.
3. Keep trying new things.
Once you start to figure out what you both want from your sex life, and learn how to talk about it, you’ll probably have an easier time figuring out new things to try to spice up the sex you’re having. But there is no reason to ever stop trying new things. When we first meet our partners, sex is often more exciting than it is later. Conventional wisdom seems to hold that this is the result of knowing your partner too well, too long over time. Novelty creates excitement.
In reality, though, it may not be the novelty that is so exciting, but the desire to learn about each other and explore your sexuality together which is strong in the beginning of a relationship. Over time you might assume you know all there is to know and you’ve done all there is to do, but this is never really the case. Once you realize that, you realize that there is no reason for sex to get boring. Even something as simple as kissing or touching your partner a different way can make sex more exciting for both of you.
4. Get your brain involved with sex.
Thinking about having an orgasm isn’t the same thing as thinking about sex. When you’re having sex, how much attention do you pay to what’s actually going on? Or are you already thinking about the finish line? You may be trying to get to an orgasm as fast as possible, but your partner probably is just enjoying the moment. Learning how to enjoy the moment can make sex more fun and can also help you avoid premature ejaculation.
5. Keep your relationship intimate.
You may not think that this would be a big deal when it comes to having better sex, but the level of emotional connection you have with your partner can play a big role in your sex life. Obviously this isn’t the case if you’re enjoying casual sex with a partner, but in a committed relationship, especially over the long term, it is a big deal. If the intimacy starts to suffer, it can be difficult to connect with your partner while you’re having sex. And if that happens, no number of amazing sex moves and positions are going to make sex any better. If you’re experiencing relationship problems, whether or not they directly involve sex, check out this article for advice on how to tackle of those problems and get back to having awesome sex. Once your emotional connection is re-established, you’ll have an easier time getting aroused and having explosive orgasm with your partner.
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