It can be frustrating as a man to have problems synching up your body with your partner’s during sex. Women oftentimes reach their climax far later than men, which can make sex a challenge. Delaying ejaculation is usually the best way for both partners to have a fulfilling experience, but it’s often easier said than done. What are some ways you can last longer when you’re in the sack? For that matter, why do you have such a difficult time delaying ejaculation in the first place?
Do You Have Premature Ejaculation?
“Premature ejaculation” is usually the term applied to men who ejaculate “too quickly.” What defines “too quickly” depends on the couple, however, since not everyone shares the same subjective views. Whether you define yourself as a premature ejaculator ultimately is up to you and your partner. In the past it was common for men to define themselves as premature ejaculators if they ejaculated within two minutes of penetration in more than half of sexual encounters. Since that accounts for more than 75 percent of all men, however, that can also be defined as just plain normal. If you feel though like you ejaculate earlier than you would like, you can also define that as premature ejaculation—regardless of how long or short the time actually is.
Is there a point to calling yourself a premature ejaculator? Maybe, maybe not; it depends on whether that helps you get your situation in perspective or not. For some, the words “premature ejaculation” may summon up feelings of shame and anxiety and worthlessness; why define yourself as something that causes you to look poorly upon yourself? That doesn’t help. It’s not a medical condition and it’s rarely caused by one. It’s usually psychological and it can generally be cured. So for others who understand this, it can be helpful to frame their situation in these terms. Maybe you’re a premature ejaculator, but your problem is psychological and you can learn how to delay ejaculation.
What to Avoid
Methods To Try
Now you know what to avoid, what are some natural methods you can use to delay ejaculation? How can you treat the root cause of your premature ejaculation so that you can enjoy more satisfying sex with your partner? To treat the root cause, you need to start working on figuring out what it is. Even while you’re trying to get to the origin of the problem, however, you can start doing exercises to improve.
The exercises to try are called Kegel exercises. They work out the pelvic floor muscles which are used during sex and which control ejaculation. If you learn to control those muscles and strengthen them, you can learn to have more control over your ejaculation and also have more intense orgasms. You can find these muscles when you’re urinating since they are also involved with that process as well; if you can stop your urine in mid-stream, you’ve found them. Contracting these muscles in sets several times a day can help you build control. This will enable you to delay ejaculation. Usually it takes a couple of weeks to begin seeing the results.
The explanation may also just be that you’re male. Scientists believe that evolutionary mechanisms may be responsible for premature ejaculation as well; the reason many more men than women seem susceptible to it may be that it’s in their genes. Nature may have selected men who were able to pass on their genes in a hurry, which means that being able to ejaculate quickly has been passed down through the generations. That’s not necessarily a permanent trait, however; it’s something you can overcome with exercise in most cases.
Delaying Ejaculation During Sex
During sex there are specific methods you can try to prolong the encounter. For example, there’s the start-and-stop technique. This is what you’d think from the name; it just means that when you’re getting close to the edge, you stop direct stimulation for a couple of minutes and then start again. Practice this by yourself and see if you can work on lasting longer. It may sound unnatural at first, but you can learn how to integrate it into your sex life more seamlessly over time, especially if you vary your activities a bit. There is also the “squeeze” technique. If you squeeze the penis above the head, you can force blood out, which can delay your ejaculation.
Varying sexual activity by itself can do a lot to help you to delay ejaculation. Instead of looking at sex as intercourse only and other activities as superfluous, try learning to enjoy other forms of sex play as well. This can help you get your mind off of having an orgasm so you can last longer before you ejaculate. Also consider masturbating about a half an hour before a sexual encounter; men often last longer on their second round.
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