If you’re looking for foreplay tips, odds are you’ve already seen dozens of magazines and e-zines promising you, “If you just learn these ten amazing moves, you can satisfy your woman (or man) in the bedroom!” This isn’t really how things work however, especially where the subject of foreplay is concerned. The worst thing you can do is assume that your partner is interchangeable with every other woman on the planet. On the contrary, foreplay is about generating arousal and enjoying sensation, and every single person on the planet is unique in that regard. There are certainly many types of foreplay that many different people enjoy, but there are so many nuances to sexuality that sexual play will vary for every couple according to individual preferences and the nature of the relationship.
The Role of Communication
What’s the number one best thing you can do to get good at foreplay? Get to know your partner. Men (and often women too) often overlook the obvious approach to foreplay, which is making it an open discussion. Why keep trying to guess what turns your partner on in the bedroom (or outside the bedroom, for that matter)? It’s a misconception to think there’s a “right” or “wrong” way of doing things. When people get caught up in thinking they’re “doing it wrong,” all kinds of silly tension and drama usually ensues that doesn’t help anything. The only “right” thing to do is to find out what’s right for you and your partner.
For some people, sexuality is a relatively straightforward thing while for others it’s more complicated. It’s best not to assume anything about your partner. Many people aren’t completely open about sexuality, even with their partners, because they’ve been taught that everyone should be more or less the same. If you show an interest in learning more about your partner, that by itself will probably help to kindle intimacy since your partner really will appreciate that you want to make the effort and that you’re willing to accept her as she is more than anything else.
If you don’t have a clue where to start, that list is a good idea. That can answer your questions right there. If you still want some ideas of what constitutes foreplay, the answers can range a great deal. Foreplay for some people is as simple as kissing and touching and caressing, while for others it can involve fetishes like sexual roleplay and costumes, BDSM, foot worship, etc. (common examples). For some people foreplay doesn’t even involve physical activities. Some people are most turned on by conversation, for example dirty talk. Some partners will build up sexual tension for hours or even days leading up to a sexual encounter. Foreplay for some couples is nonexistent while for others it is actually the main attraction, with the subsequent sex and orgasm being a result and not the end to which the foreplay was the means. Tantric foreplay is another great starting place if you’re new to foreplay and nervous about what to do, and it’s also an excellent option for couples with intimacy issues or trauma to work around.
Benefits of Foreplay
You can learn a lot about your partner’s sexual identity by engaging in foreplay, and sometimes you can even learn more about your own. Since sexuality is very personal and especially in our closed-off society, foreplay requires a lot of trust and emotional connection between partners. It can help to build trust and to strengthen emotional bonds. A lack of intimacy is often what’s responsible for problems like premature ejaculation and impotence in the bedroom. By bridging this gap, your whole sex life can improve. This is one of many great natural methods for treating PE and impotence without resorting to medications.
The other benefit of foreplay is that it can help to resolve timing issues between men and women. Men typically reach their climaxes much more quickly than women during sexual intercourse, but foreplay can help women reach the correct arousal level to be able to climax at the same time as men. It’s a misconception that every woman needs to have sex for twenty to thirty minutes to achieve an orgasm, though many women do require that length of time over which to reach the right arousal level. Since many men can last much better during foreplay than they can during sexual intercourse, this helps partners to synch up who otherwise struggle to do so.
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