For many couples, the appeal of oral sex is obvious, and doesn’t need any further discussion, but for other couples who have never tried anything outside of intercourse (maybe even in the same position over and over), the idea of trying anything new can be confusing or intimidating. Oral sex used to be quite taboo, though that time is coming to a close as oral sex becomes a more accepted practice (and it should be by now; it’s one of the most common sex acts on the planet).
We’re guessing if you found your way to this article though, oral sex is at least something that interests you, even if you’re not sure how to get started or why it’s something you might want to do. There are a number of physical and psychological reasons why some partners (male and female alike) don’t find oral sex all that intuitive or appealing. It’s been suggested before that it’s an “acquired taste,” which is a great way to put it. You may love oral sex right from the start, or you may need some time to get used to it, learn how to do it well, and really enjoy yourself.
Oral Sex as Foreplay
Oral sex can be a form of foreplay before you have intercourse. Most men don’t need as much time as their female partners do to become aroused to the point of being able to reach a climax. While you’d think after thousands of years of human evolution most of us would know this by now, a lot of people are completely oblivious to this fact. Maybe that’s because men and women seldom communicate clearly about sex. Those who do often enjoy the most fulfilling sex lives and relationships though.
Oral Sex For Its Own Sake
Oral sex doesn’t have to be a form of foreplay. If you discover you enjoy it, you might very well make it the main event and don’t even have intercourse every time. If you treat it as something you’re doing for the sake of doing it as opposed to just a way to get to sexual intercourse, you’ll probably have a better time and more intense orgasms anyway—whether or not you then go on to have sexual intercourse.
What are the benefits of having oral sex for the sake of having oral sex? For one thing, it’s fun! Just as intercourse produces a unique set of sensations, so does oral sex. Those sensations can be very different than the ones produced during intercourse, and there’s also a lot more you can do since you have more control over what you’re doing with your mouth, tongue, and lips. You can use your hands while you’re performing as well, as can your partner. This can produce even more sensations. Giving a handjob usually is the most precise method of stimulation, and can work great for a partner who has difficulty achieving an orgasm through other means.
If you’ve been with your partner a long time and you’re starting to feel like your sex life has become a bit staid, that may be because it has. If you do the same thing over and over when you have sex, there’s less of both of “you” present in the act. There’s no creativity, communication, or discovery when you just repeat yourself and repeat yourself. Doing something new can be the perfect way to make sex more personal again. It’s a chance to learn about your partner and share more about yourself, and to see and know each other in a different way.
Oral sex is a safe-sex alternative for partners who don’t want to risk pregnancy but don’t want to use birth control. A lot of men hate condoms, and a lot of women don’t want to go on some form of the pill, which doesn’t leave all that many other options. The “timing method” is unreliable, but the best way to prevent pregnancy aside from birth control is simply to enjoy other sexual activities.
Talking About Oral Sex
One of the reasons that oral sex can be something of an “acquired taste” is that it can be difficult knowing how to do a good job of it. It can feel awkward trying to get someone off in such a personal way when you don’t know your way around your partner’s genitals that well. How can you if you’re the other sex? As a man, you don’t honestly know what it feels like to be a woman, and your partner doesn’t have a clue what it feels like to be a man. The best way around this awkwardness is to look at oral sex as a learning experience, and not something you can expect to be amazing at right from day one. Approach that learning process with openness and clear communication, and you’ll be amazed with the results.
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