How to Get Her to Give You a Blowjob

Many men are aware that there are a lot of women out there who have a hang-up about giving blowjobs. This can seem puzzling and can be very frustrating if you have no idea why your significant other may be so opposed to giving you head, but before you can possibly talk her into it, you have to figure out why she doesn’t want to do it. It could have something to do with you and how you behave when you’re getting blown, but it could also have nothing to do with you whatsoever. In some cases there’s no way you’ll ever convince her to change, but in many situations it’s possible to convince her to do it. It all depends on what’s going on with her hang-up.

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Is It Your Fault?

In some cases, it’s actually going to be the man’s fault when he can’t get a blowjob—at least to a limited degree. Maybe there’s something you do that annoys her. If so, she’s equally at fault for not telling you what it is. But the idea is for you to do something constructive that solves your problem, not throw blame around. So think back to previous occasions (assuming you’ve had them, that is), and ask yourself what you might have done while your partner was performing. Did you press your hand against her head, even if it seemed to irritate her? Did you pull her hair, even by total accident? Did you cum in her mouth, and if so, did she seem like she enjoyed it or not?

It’s unfortunately impossible to guess what’s going through our partners’ minds sometimes, and when they don’t explain, the only thing to do is to think back over the past and try to figure out what might have caused the problem, and then to ask about it in the present. Explain to your partner that you miss getting blowjobs, and ask her if it was something you did. While many women enjoy it when their partners cum in their mouths, others can’t stand it. And while some women have no problem with where their partners place their hands during oral sex, others hate when their partners place their hands on the backs of their heads. It can create a feel of pressure and anxiety. Just by changing something like this, you might be able to change your partner’s mind.

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You might also consider whether you’ve been observing good hygiene. Our crotches aren’t the cleanest parts of our body, especially after a long day of hard work. Taking a shower and washing up is a good idea before you try to convince a lady to give you head. Sometimes it’s the simplest things in the world which can make all the difference when it comes to getting more blowjobs. One more thing you can do is offer to go down on your partner in return, or offer to do something else for her that she’s been wanting, especially if it’s something you’ve been hesitant about yourself.

Is it a Physical or Psychological Issue?

Some women don’t like giving blowjobs for physical reasons. A woman who has neck or jaw problems isn’t going to be thrilled about the idea, and for good reason. Some women also struggle with a gag reflex, although this isn’t always a physical problem. In many cases it’s actually psychological. If it’s psychological, it’s pretty common and also can often go away with time, practice, and patience. In order for this to happen, though, you have to allow your partner time to adjust, experiment, and get used to things, and that means making it clear to her that she’s not under pressure, and that you appreciate her giving the effort. You also can reduce pressure by waiting until you’re already hard and aroused before starting with the blow job. That way that alleviates a lot of performance anxiety.

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There are other psychological reasons that a woman might be wary of giving you a blow job—or doing any other sexual act. Anytime there has been a negative experience or some kind of trauma in the past involving a sex act, there’s always going to be some resistance to doing it again with a new partner, even though the circumstances have entirely changed. Our bodies remember and imprint negative experiences, even when we try to change our minds. If your partner has a block about giving you a blowjob, the best thing you can do is be patient. You may have to acknowledge that she may never change her mind. But she’s more likely to if you don’t pressure her. That doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t bring it up, but you should always do so with patience and understanding. Past trauma is something you deal with together, and overcoming it may be a healing experience for her—or it may not. It all comes down to the individual. Just make sure she understands that she’s safe with you and she’s in control.

There are situations where you’ll never get your partner to give you a blowjob. Some women just are opposed to them for no particular reason; they just don’t enjoy them or find them appealing. There are probably sex acts you don’t find appealing as well. If something is a hard limit for your partner, you have to respect that. If it’s not, though, it’s not unreasonable to expect her to try to meet you halfway with your sex life.

If you’re having problems in your relationship, that could also explain why you’re having a difficult time with this particular issue. Oftentimes difficulties with sex are indicative of deeper problems. This isn’t always the case, but if you can think of something else which may be putting stress on your relationship, now might be the perfect time to get it out in the open and resolve it. That way you can get on with your relationship and enjoy greater intimacy and more fun in your sex life.

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