Men often complain that they don’t get enough oral sex, but when you actually get your partner to go down on you, how do you ensure that you won’t spoil it by coming early? This is especially likely to happen if you’ve been waiting a long time for a blowjob and have built a lot of anticipation around it. The last thing you want is for the experience to be over right away. Here are some ideas to help you last longer during your blowjob.
- The fastest way to an orgasm is usually through repetitive motion, so one way to make it less likely you’ll come early is to ask your partner to change pace as she sucks you off. The changes in rhythm will make it less likely that you’ll have an orgasm right away.
- Another quick route to orgasm is through pressure. The more pressure your partner uses, the more likely you’ll come early. So if you think you’re in danger of coming too soon, ask your partner to use only her mouth and not her hands. It’s more difficult to exert pressure with the mouth than the hands, and the mouth is less precise as well. This will make it easier to last longer. If your partner has difficulty with this instruction, ask her to touch other parts of your body instead.
- Use the stop and start technique. This technique is usually recommended for sexual intercourse for men who experience premature ejaculation. You can use it just as well though to avoid premature ejaculation when you’re having oral sex. Interrupting the action every couple of minutes (or less, depending on how premature you are) can help you to draw out the experience. That doesn’t mean you have to interrupt the whole experience, though; you can take a few minutes to focus on stimulating your partner, or have her do something else to you.
- Encourage your partner to explore. There are many pleasurable sensations that can be derived from the other sensitive areas around your genitals, not just your penis. Many men enjoy having their testicles, anus, or inner thighs stimulated, and not just their penis. You’re less likely to have an orgasm from these more indirect sensations, however, so you may last longer while also enjoying a more complex range of sensations.
- Try focusing on your partner. If you’re trying to get your partner off, you may distract your mind enough not to have an orgasm as quickly. One idea is to go down on your partner while she goes down on you in the 69 position. There are actually many different positions for fellatio and for combining fellatio and cunnilingus. Different positions can also help you overcome premature ejaculation simply by varying your experience.
- Try Kegel exercises. These are exercises for your pelvic floor muscles. If you can stop and start your stream of urine while you’re going to the bathroom, you already know how to contract your pelvic floor muscles. Try doing sets of these contractions each day (not while you’re urinating). You don’t need to go overboard with it. Just a few sets of ten each day will help you to gain more control over the muscles which are also involved in your orgasm. The more control you have, the easier time you’ll have holding off your orgasms. This goes for oral sex as well as intercourse.
- Try round two. It’s typical to last longer on a second round than you do on your first. This applies to oral sex as it applies to intercourse. You may come quickly the first time, but if you wait a bit and then try again, you may well end up lasting a lot longer.
Premature ejaculation is a very common problem, and if you are plagued by it, don’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re alone or that you’re somehow deficient. More men than not experience premature ejaculation. Try not to build up anxiety around it or think that this reflects badly on you. It just means you need practice lasting longer and can benefit from trying new things. While oral sex is often recommended as a technique for avoiding premature ejaculation during intercourse, oral sex can be an end unto itself, and you can still experience the same problem with oral sex as you do with intercourse. So don’t get down on yourself if you do. Just work on improving.
You may also notice that many of these tips also depend on adjusting your mindset about sex. For a lot of people, sex is all about getting to an orgasm. Orgasms are great, but they are the natural result of stimulation and arousal, and will generally happen on their own if you just enjoy the moment. They’re less likely to happen quickly and curtail the moment though if you don’t think of them as a “goal” during sex. Your body tends to go where your mind leads it, so if you are thinking about having an orgasm, you’ll likely have one sooner. If you’re just thinking about different sensations and exploring your sexuality with your partner, you’ll probably last longer. Chances are good that your orgasm will be more explosive and memorable when it does arrive too.
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